Montessori Philosophy

Little ones at home from school? Thrive with these practical Montessori strategies.

What’s the ideal Montessori home environment?

Should I purchase all the Montessori materials I can get my hands on? Should I re-create my child’s Montessori classroom in the playroom? Or should I skip all that and just focus on accessible, child-sized water glasses and hand-held brooms?

It depends on the situation. Today, I’m going to focus on one situation:

School is canceled. Your kids are home all day.

(This situation might occur during the summer, and the advice I give would work well then, too. But to fill you in if you’re reading this at a later date, I wrote this in the midst of the 2020 COVID 19 pandemic. Schools are closed around the world.)

What is the best way to support the development of your 3-6 year old children at home?

Is now the time to set up a Montessori homeschool environment?

Montessori at Home

Here’s some advice from my trainers: don’t try to recreate a Montessori classroom at home.

This advice was given years ago, in response to parents wondering how to support their Montessori-enrolled children after school. It’s good advice today too as we deal with school closures.

Note: If you’re going all in on Montessori homeschooling and have several children, a home classroom might be the way to go. But for those of you who are just wondering what to do with your kids who are home from school, take a simpler approach.

Here’s why: it takes more than materials to create a true and effective Montessori classroom environment. The number of children and their ages, the tactics of the adults, etc. also contribute to a successful classroom.

While a full blown classroom isn’t the way to go, here are Montessori strategies you can implement at home, anytime:

1. Set a Routine

“Order is one of the needs of life which, when satisfied, produces real happiness.”

– Maria Montessori

Kids and grownups alike can benefit from a good routine, but it’s particularly important for kids, who are in a sensitive period for order.

A good routine is much easier to implement than a strict schedule. You can do it!

👉🏻 Learn how to set a routine that works for your family here: How to Create a Simple Routine for Preschoolers

2. Offer Engaging Activities

“Movement helps the development of the mind, and this finds renewed expression in further movement and activity.”

– Maria Montessori

During the early years (before age 6), the Montessori focus is to help the child reach normalization through concentration.

Basically, engagement with meaningful activity is super important. You can do this at home!

So even though your child isn’t getting new Montessori lessons during this time, you can support his development by offering activities that capture his interest.

Some tips:

• Go for hands-on activities: When the hand and the brain work together, amazing things happen.
• Provide a few (2-4) options: If your child chooses her activity, she is more likely to engage with it for a longer period of time. Plus, it’s a chance to practice making choices and developing her will.
• Go simple: Think coloring, digging dirt, building Lego castles, etc. Meaningful takes on a new look here. Almost anything that involves the hand and the brain working together counts.
• Connect, then walk away: First connect your child with the activity, by showing him how it works or what the limits are (no digging next to Mom’s roses, etc.) Then, allow him to work independently and without interruption. You can keep an eye on him while protecting his concentration.
• Chores count: Small children love to do what they see us doing. It seems important to them. So show your child how to sweep the floor, water the plants, put the spoons away, and mix the dry ingredients. These can become part of her routine!

👉🏻 Discover more: Practical Life is the Foundation of Montessori: Why Do We Rush It?

3. Encourage Independence

“Development takes the form of a drive toward an ever-greater independence.”

– Maria Montessori

Montessori is an education for independence. Support this aspect of your child’s development at home as much as possible.

Some tips:

• Give freedom within limits: Children are growing in independence, but they’re not there yet. They still need our help. Honor this by setting clear boundaries, especially with regards to discipline, and within those boundaries allowing the child freedom.
• Offer a few good choices: This is one way to allow freedom within limits. For example, let her choose between two shirts, between milk and water, etc.
• Help the child help himself: Show him how to get dressed in the morning, then let him do it by himself. Show him how to get a glass of water, to look at a book, to prepare a snack, etc. Make sure the limits/rules are clear.
• Make materials available: As much as possible, store anything the child needs throughout the day within her reach. Water glasses and a step stool to reach the tap. Crayons, pencils, and paper. Books. Explain any limits clearly, and remove materials that are being mis-used.

4. Spend Time Together

“…what is necessary is the child’s participation in our lives…to extend to the child this hospitality…”

– Maria Montessori

Some tips:

• Include your child in your activities: Set aside a little extra time and let her help you make dinner. Show him how to pull weeds. Do squats and lunges together. Let him sit in quietly on a Zoom call. (You might want to run that one by your boss.)
• Read together: Self-explanatory.
• Take walks together: Go slowly and notice things together. What are the clouds doing? Can you hear the birds?
• Answer all the questions: If you don’t know the answer, just tell him.
• Have conversations: Linger over meals if possible and have some good old fashioned conversation. Ask questions, and tell stories.

👉🏻 Discover more: DIY Reading Nook

Now I want to hear from you:

What’s one new strategy you’d like to implement today?

What’s already been working for you?

Leave a comment below and share your stories, insights, and questions. I’m looking forward to hearing from you!

~ Jean Marie

Kids just want to play all day? Here are six simple ways to help your students engage in Montessori work without taking away from the importance of play.

Welcome to the first addition of my new series, “Readers Wonder.” In this series of posts, I address questions posed to me by my readers. Thanks for joining us!

Want your questions answered? Join below to be a part of my next series, plus other great opportunities to learn more about Montessori.

Today’s question: “How do I deal with constant imaginary play with everything?”

Let me take a moment to acknowledge those of you scrunching your foreheads in confusion, “wait, imaginary play is a problem?” or those split-seconds away from clicking out of this post in protest.

The Montessori method does appreciate the beauty of the imagination.

The imagination holds an important place in child development, but Maria Montessori took a different approach to cultivating it. Instead of encouraging make-believe play, she focused on putting children in touch with the concrete world around them.

She believed that reality was the basis of the imagination, and the richer your experience of reality, the richer your imagination will be.

👉🏻 Read More: Montessori, Fantasy, and Fairy Tales: How to Point Our Children Towards the Beauty and Mystery of Reality

So what should you do when your students seem more interested in imaginary play than in their work?

There are a few practical strategies to implement here.

1. Don’t discourage imaginary play. But as with everything Montessori, there should be limits. I’ll go into some of these limits below. Allow imaginary play within these limits.
2. Do not allow imaginary play, or any kind of play, with the Montessori materials. These materials were carefully designed to put the child in touch with the concrete material world, and to help him notice things about it. Playing flying dragons with these materials makes it a little harder for the child to notice those cool concrete realities. By setting this hard and fast limit, you can help the child get into a more curious, observant mode.
3. Set aside a time and place for work and a time and place for play. If you are a teacher, this is mostly done for you: the children work in the classroom during the morning work cycle, and play on the playground during recess. If you are homeschooling, set aside a place just for Montessori work. This doesn’t have to be a whole room if you don’t have that space; a corner of a room will work as well. Keep toys and games out of this place, and provide a few Montessori materials/activities. Set aside time each school day, even if just a half hour, when you and your children work in that area. Let them choose between a few choices of work, and bring in your own work to lead by example. When the work time is over, you can choose to allow your children to stay longer if they want, or to play somewhere else.
4. Observe your children carefully, and notice what aspects of reality capture their attention, if only for a brief second. Take some notes, and then develop an activity that will encourage them to engage a little more with that reality. For example, if you notice Howie looking intently at a rock, prepare an activity with rocks to show him the next day. You could show him how to sort rocks according to texture, for example. He could collect some rocks in a basket, and bring them over to a table where the rough tablets are set out. Have him match each rock to a tablet by texture, and line them up under the matching tablets.
5. Look for books about your child’s interests. Don’t just look in the children’s section, either. You’d be surprised at the kind of books your child might find interesting. An illustrated encyclopedia or even a coffee table book could be the key to capturing Howie’s interest.
6. Notice the world with your child. “Did you see this funny shaped rock I found?” “I wonder what this flower smells like.” Etc. Sometimes words and questions are helpful, but sometimes a smile and a nod in the direction of the cute squirrel is enough.

To sum up, don’t squash the imaginary world, but do cultivate engagement with the beauty of the real world.

~ Jean Marie

👉🏻 Read Part 2 of Reader’s Wonder here:

Montessori vs. Unschooling: Similarities and One Key Difference

Grace and Courtesy: what does this look like in the Montessori method? When should I introduce it? How can I effectively teach it? How do I respond to rudeness and clumsiness? Keep reading for the full scoop on Grace and Courtesy lessons, and to get your free list of the essential lessons!

Ever been mooned by a three-year-old? “Courteous” is not exactly the word that comes to mind to describe the darling little offender.

As Benji takes the most colossal fall, bringing the pink tower down with him and landing in a mess of shattered glass, you might question the appropriateness of the term “grace” in reference to Pre-K kids.

But grace and courtesy are as attainable as reading and writing. Even among that charming 3-6 year-old population.

It’s possible, and it’s worthwhile, too.

What Is Grace and Courtesy All About?

Grace refers to the efficiency of our own movements. Courtesy refers to the way we treat others. 

Efficiency of movements…so that means numbering each specific movement in each activity according to a precise pattern, right? 

Spare yourselves.

While we do weirdly analyze the movements that make up a Practical Life lesson, including the Grace and Courtesy lessons, this is kind of like the training wheels of graceful moving. We need a little extra support as we learn to move intentionally and gracefully, and to teach that to others.

After some practice, it becomes second nature.

(Also, kids learn through imitation, and the fewer and clearer our movements, the easier it will be for the kids to imitate them. Hence the precision of Practical Life.)

At the heart of grace and courtesy is this: grace reflects our own dignity, and courtesy reflects the dignity of others. The result of graceful movements and courtesy for others is peace between the mind and body, and between the individual and the community.

Why Teach Grace and Courtesy?

Maria Montessori believed in giving the best to our children. Why not give them, even the littlest, the means to act with dignity?

Plus, from age to two until four and a half, children are in a sensitive period for movement. At this age they are fascinated by the movements of others, and they are all about imitation.

This is PRIME TIME to show them exactly what to do with their little bodies in different situations. They think its fun!

How Do I Teach Grace and Courtesy Lessons?

Many Grace and Courtesy lessons are given individually, although some lessons are appropriate to give to small groups of 2-4 children.

Here’s the gist.

Tell the child, or group of children, you are going to show them something.

Model the appropriate behavior, using clear motions, while emphasizing points of interest. For example, close the door slowly, without making a single noise.  

Don’t use words, unless they are part of the appropriate behavior, e.g. “excuse me,” or to explain when this behavior is appropriate, e.g. “If you need to walk where someone is standing, this is what to do.”

You can include the child or other children in the lesson, for example, invite one child to stand in your way while you model saying, “excuse me,” etc. You can then invite the child to try the appropriate behavior, and if you have a group of children, you can invite them to role play.

When Should I Teach Grace and Courtesy Lessons?

Remember the prime time is when the child is in the sensitive period for movement, so ages 2 – 4.5. Generally, that’s a fantastic time to teach Grace and Courtesy. (Although it’s never to late!) But specifically, should you round everyone up on day one of school and bust out those Grace and Courtesy lessons?

Not really.

The BEST time to teach Grace and Courtesy is when the occasion arises. Teach a child how to blow her nose discreetly when she has a runny nose. Teach two children how to sort out a disagreement when they have a disagreement (but ideally before the fists start flying.)

Yes, many occasions arise on day one of school. How to greet someone. How to push in your chair when you get up from the table.

If possible, this is how I recommend going about these lessons:

Invite your brand new students, one, maybe two, at a time, to visit the classroom before school starts. Invite them on a day when the other children are at home. During this quiet visit, show the child a few Grace and Courtesy lessons that will help him out on the first day of school, such as:

• How to hang up your jacket
• How to walk in the classroom
• How to sit down at and get up from a table quietly
• How to use the bathroom

Don’t overwhelm the child, but do give him enough to get him started. Hopefully, on the first day of school, he will learn many other Grace and Courtesy lessons from the other students. And you can continue to teach him lessons as the need arises.

How Should I Respond To Clumsiness and Rudeness?

Rule number 1: don’t say, “Be careful!!!” When Penny careens around the table, narrowly missing the corner, porcelain bowls and beans sliding all over her tray, a reminder to be careful might be the last distracting straw that causes her to hit the floor.

So, what to do instead?

Some tips:

• A little later, without letting on that you witnessed her near-disaster with the porcelain bowls, give Penny a brief, interesting lesson on how to walk between two tables. Model beautiful, slow walking, maybe pausing to make sure you are leaving an adequate berth around each table.
• Ask yourself: have I been rushing around the classroom? Do I careen between tables myself? Do your best to model graceful movements in the classroom.
• Make sure your students are ready for the lessons you’ve been giving them. Don’t overwhelm them with more than they can handle. It takes practice with Practical Life for a child to gain the control and coordination necessary for lessons in other areas.
• Don’t force the child to say things. Some children are extremely shy, and will warm up more quickly to saying “excuse me” and “good morning” if they are shown how and then given the time to do so themselves when ready. Forcing them can cause the shyness to grow instead.
• Respond to rudeness with a positive reminder of the appropriate behavior, and a consequence if necessary. For example, if a child bowls over a classmate on his way to his cubby, invite him back and review the way to say, “excuse me.” If he deliberately ignores this advice, you can, for example, have him stay seated until the cubby area is clear.
• Be patient. I broke several eggs while placing the carton in the fridge the other day, and I interrupt people frequently. I’m still practicing Grace and Courtesy myself!

Classy Kids Coming Right Up

Remember, at the heart of Montessori Grace and Courtesy is dignity. Each individual human has inherent dignity, and Grace and Courtesy is a way to reflect and honor that.

Kids can learn Grace and Courtesy, and they’ll even have fun doing so, especially if we reach them during the sensitive period for movement.

The best way to teach Grace and Courtesy is to model it ourselves. But be patient! With yourself and your bumpkins. 🙂

Now I want to hear from you:

What’s something you can do today to foster Grace and Courtesy in your students?

Leave a comment below and share your stories and insights. I’m looking forward to hearing from you!

~ Jean Marie

P.S. Don’t forget to download your free list of Grace and Courtesy Lessons!

Learn the benefits of routines vs. schedules for an orderly school day, and every day! Plus, check out these 7 tips for designing your own daily routine. 

“Order is one of the needs of life which, when satisfied, produces real happiness.”

– Maria Montessori

Schedules and three-year-olds don’t always mix well.

The schedule starts out beautifully, especially on paper, with color-coded time boxes for everything from meal-time to story-time. It fits all the necessary events in tightly and wraps ’em all up just in time for the end of the day.

Then, after a brief lapse of discipline on your part and a temper tantrum on the three-year-old’s part, we’ve skipped the morning weather check for the third time this week and rushed through a quarter of this morning’s lessons. And then, just as Suzie finally seems focused with an activity, it’s time for lunch.

What to do?

Here are a few options:

1. Continue on as a drill sergeant. Show no mercy to poor Suzie. It’s lunch time and we have a schedule to keep. Struggle against your kids/students all day.
2. Abandon schedules and structure altogether and go with the flow all day. Ignore Maria Montessori’s words concerning order. Accomplish close to nothing.
3. Develop a routine instead of a schedule. Find stability in the order of the day, and freedom for spontaneous activity. Experience less stress, more joyful days, and easier resets after difficult days.

Let’s go with option 3, shall we?

But first…what’s the difference between a routine and a schedule?

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Routine vs. Schedule

Put simply, a routine is a schedule with few or no time limits.

Here is an example:

Within this general routine are many smaller routines.

For example, during the three-hour work period, each child must choose a work, work at it for as long as he wants, then put it away where it belongs. If a child needs to use the bathroom, she needs to let the teacher know first, and wash her hands afterwards. She knows how to wash her hands, because there is a routine: turn on the water, rinse, get soap, scrub, rinse, turn off the water, dry hands with the towel, put the towel away.

In a Montessori environment, there is a routine for everything.

There is a routine for entering in the morning, for choosing work, setting up the snack table, working outside, washing the paint brushes, setting up for lunch, and cleaning up after lunch.

You name it, there’s a routine for it.

Set times, not so much.

There is no set time for snack. No set time for math. No set time for art. No set time for moving the whole class from one 30 minute time slot to the next.

Even the lessons follow a routine instead of a schedule.

Montessori guides do not follow a daily curriculum. They follow the order of presentations.

For example, a Montessori guide does not plan out each day the way a traditional teacher does. She does not decide that today everyone will learn addition. Instead, she observes each child to see when he is ready for the next lesson in math, the next lesson in language, the next sensorial lesson, and so on.

The order is the same for every child, (e.g. addition always comes before subtraction, and the pink tower always comes before the brown stair) but each child moves through the order at his own pace.

This requires attention on the part of the guide. She has to stay on her toes to make sure each child is getting the right lesson when he is ready for it, not too soon, and not too late. But, in the long run, it brings much more peace to the classroom.

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The Benefits of a Routine Over a Schedule

Why should we go with a routine instead of a schedule? How can we make sure everything gets done if it’s not time-blocked?

1. A routine balances order with flexibility. Order is essential for the young child, who is learning her place in the world. External order leads to internal order. Without it, the child has no frame of reference as he build his mental organs. Many behavioral difficulties can be eased with external order. But, all children are different. 30 minutes of math might be too much for one child and not enough for another. It might be just right one day, and impossible the next. By following routines instead of a rigid schedule, we are better able to follow the child, to see what each individual needs, and to give it to her.
2. A routine allows time for concentration. Concentration is golden. A child who can concentrate can use his will to pay attention to something worthwhile. This is an irreplaceable power. (Think: success at school, success at a job, prayer, etc.) But, by moving children along according to a fixed schedule, we often interrupt their concentration. Suzie was finally concentrating! That is so much more important than what time we eat lunch. In a Montessori routine, there is a 3-hour work period. During this period, a child can work on one thing the whole time if he likes. Or, he can move from one activity to another. It all depends on his concentration abilities and his interests.
3. A routine gives room for the unexpected, or for mistakes. The most difficult thing about a schedule is the fact that we are constantly running behind. A child has an accident, or the teacher thinks a certain project will take less time than it does, and the rest of the day is spent trying to catch up. With a routine, there is more time for these hiccups. If a child has an accident at snack time, there is no hurry, and nothing is missed in the time spent cleaning up. If a science project takes 15 minutes instead of 10, the language lessons won’t be rushed. After a difficult day, we just pick up where we left off.
4. A routine helps build discipline. While a routine does leave room for error, it still helps both children and adults to grow in self discipline. A routine only works if we follow it as best we can. But with clear guidelines, it’s doable. For example: always put the work away as soon as you are done with it; be ready to greet each child as she enters the classroom. For a child especially, knowing what to do is a huge step toward self-discipline.

But what about those things that really need to happen?

If something really must happen at a certain time, that’s fine. A handful of set times can be helpful in giving structure to a routine. Montessori schools all have set start times and end times, and families are encouraged to arrive promptly. It’s good for children to learn to respect others by being on time.

The key is to choose these set times well, and give enough time in between them for concentration and flexibility.

So what do I do if lunch happens at a set time, and Suzie is still focused on her work?

Don’t interrupt her unless it’s absolutely necessary. Start lunch, and she’ll probably notice what everyone else is doing, finish up her work, and join you.

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How to Create Routines

1. Minimize. Choose a few set times, e.g. drop-off time, lunch time, etc. and then eliminate all other time blocks from your schedule. Let go of the need to control what happens when each day.
2. Create the overall structure using those set times, and make sure to leave several open hours for work.
3. Plan a general routine for the day. Give this a little thought. It’s best not to change routines too often. You can include your kids or students in planning. Make a list of the days events, and the order in which they usually happen. For example, after breakfast, we clear the table, load the dishwasher, and wash our hands.
4. Start living the general routine. You can make a chart, a routine book, or use routine cards if thats easier for you, but it’s not necessary. If you do the same basic things in the same order each day, your children and students can pick it up. Consistency is key.
5. Address each smaller event as it comes up by creating a routine. These smaller routines might include: how to wash your hands, how to put your work away, how to set the table, how to put your shoes on before going outside, how to bring in the mail, how to feed the dog, how to water the plants, etc. Many of these you can create in advance, but it can be hard to think of them all at once, and there will always be surprises that come up.
6. Remember that each day will be a little different. Maybe one day your kids will spend most of the morning inside reading books, and the next day they will want to sweep the patio, play the subtraction game, paint a picture, and help you make lunch. That’s awesome.
7. If you’re teaching, follow the order of presentations. Don’t schedule the lessons into the day, but be diligent in knowing who needs what. Watch and wait for the right moment to give a lesson, and never interrupt a child who is concentrating.

👉🏻👉🏻👉🏻 Print your own set of beautiful routine cards here.  Routine cards can help young kids to understand and follow each routine. The kids can help you choose which cards to use, and older children can illustrate extra cards to keep your routine personalized.

Got questions? Let me know in the comments. Or just share your best routine-setting tips!

~ Jean Marie